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Resiliency vs toxic positivity
“Be positive!” How many times have we heard these two words from people with whom we’ve shared our troubles? You see, there’s nothing wrong with being positive in life. According to studies, having a positive outlook in your daily life makes handling things better and is highly recommended because it leads to happier and healthier living.
Today’s generation of young adults are engrossed with the idea of self-love, self-care and mental health and are active in promoting positivity online. However, the same generation experiences higher rates of depression and anxiety. Despite more people being well-informed on how to offer support, their ways or use of language often doesn’t give enough reason for a vulnerable person to come forward with their struggles. Instead of helping someone realize that they can overcome the anxiety that cripples them, they are told that “their problems aren’t big enough” and to be grateful for other things in life. Instead of receiving comfort, the vulnerable person receives blanket statements or affirmations that sound more like toxic positivity than genuine empathy.
Now, in today’s world of positive culture, a person is more likely to feel the burden on his/her shoulder. They will feel that their struggles aren’t validated and are merely the product of their pessimism. They will be guilty for not being strong enough to handle things. As a result, instead of overcoming whatever problems they are facing, they are pushed further into their deepest sorrow.
Learning to validate someone’s pain and properly addressing it is a highly undervalued skill. Anyone can say phrases that they think might help uplift someone but it will show if they genuinely don’t care. It’s not like people are looking to others for solutions to their problems, but most do need someone to ease their negative feelings by helping them realize that there is hope and that this too shall pass. Helping someone realize that their emotions matter, regardless of what the reasoning might be is extremely important… It’s important to open up their eyes to see that they in fact have a choice to let go of the things that they cannot control and to stop blaming themselves. This will encourage them to accept where they are and talk their heart out instead of just bottling it up inside.
One must learn that there is no wrong emotion – That everyone is capable of feeling several different emotions, from happy to sad and everything in between and often also all at once. It is common for any one person to feel hopeless and tired every now and then. The thing you must never forget? It’s perfectly OKAY to feel whatever you’re feeling and to never be ashamed for being overwhelmed by stressful situations.,...
Dare to Suck
Omar Parvez Khan
Most of us have heard about Aerosmith, one of the most iconic bands in music history.
The band has quite a few rituals – some pre-show, some post-show, and others revolving around the music they create. Among these, there is one that is particularly interesting.
The band holds a weekly meeting where each member presents a new idea, even if they themselves think it’s bad or embarrassing. Most weeks the ideas put forward are really terrible and nine times out of ten they are thrown out the window on the spot.
Every once in a while though, that one time out of ten, an idea comes along that makes everyone respond ‘You know what? This could work!’ And these are the ideas that have led to some of their greatest hits such as ‘Love in an Elevator’ and ‘Dude Looks Like a Lady’.
They call this weekly meeting ‘Dare to Suck‘.
Ed Sheeran, widely regarded as one of the best songwriters of our time, describes his songwriting process in a similar vein. In a documentary about the singer, we are told that there is no real mystery around the process; he just writes everything that comes to mind. The start is not too impressive, but soon, almost as if someone has flipped a switch, the magic begins.
Neil Gaiman (#1 New York Times bestselling author of more than 20 books) alludes to an almost identical process in his Masterclass.
If we follow the pattern, we see that a lot of the top creative minds produce their work in this fashion. When they sit down to write, they let all their ideas flow without self-judgment or criticism. Initially, the ideas they write down are muddy, unrefined and quite frankly bad by even their standards. But once these impurities are allowed to be flushed, suddenly a point comes when strong ideas begin to flow and that’s when their genius comes out.
Often when we are working on something, we don’t allow our mind to clear itself before it can produce high quality output. This applies in all scenarios; an important presentation, creating marketing content, or the desire to learn something new. If we resist our bad ideas and don’t let the fog clear, we can never reveal our best work.
In fact, this is also the reason why we don’t start most things. We think our ideas are not refined or not good enough and instead of letting them out in order to uncover our deeper thoughts, we keep them locked up and use them as an excuse to delay the activity.
So next time you’re working on something, begin by writing down every single thought you have, unfiltered and without restriction. Remember that to get to the gold, you have to dig through the dirt. Remove all distractions, remove any self-criticism and self-judgment, and just let the ideas bleed.
Continue doing this regularly and see if you get to the point where novel ideas start pouring out – and I bet you get to that point sooner than you think! I bet you come up with things that you didn’t know were hiding in a dark corner or crevice in your mind. I bet you discover another part of yourself. Because we all have those novel ideas inside us, buried under the messy input we receive from the outside world every second of every day.
Just let yourself be terrible first. Dare to suck.,...
Position or be Positioned
The essence of positioning is sacrifice. You must be willing to give up something to establish that unique position.Al Ries
Human beings have thrived as a species by recognizing patterns. We base these patterns on the richness of our past experiences. While this heuristic helps us tremendously in how we interact with the world, it does come with its drawbacks.
Those rapid snap judgements not only influence how we see others, but it also has a significant impact on how we see ourselves. As an example: When I meet people, and I tell them I studied economics and psychology at college, they have a challenging time reconciling what I do for a living.
What people are trying to do is follow a linear train of thought which usually helps them get to a logical conclusion. This line of thought works a majority of the time because most people only colour inside the lines. We identify with labels that society bestows upon us and do very little during our lives to break away.
To truly get onto a path of high performance, we need to position ourselves differently. We need to think, speak and act differently. If you are to break away from the status quo, we have to find a way to forge our path. Otherwise, the world around us will position us based on what suits them rather than giving yourself the ability to choose.
We all can choose how to position ourself.
It is only a matter of whether we have the self-belief, courage and most importantly, the self-awareness to do so.
Positioning yourself requires you to understand what your strengths are, what makes you different, who is the target audience you want to lead and clearly outline the benefits that your audience would gain by following you.
All of the above requires you to have clarity and where you want to take your life.
While discussing strategy and marketing, the word positioning comes up a lot. However, when the intent isn’t authentic, most people will be able to sniff that out quickly.
With the proliferation of technology, this topic is going to be critical to becoming anti-fragile. When you are positioned without consent, you are opting in to becoming fragile.
The highest performers will be those that can blaze their own path. Those who will be brave enough to colour outside of the lines when necessary. They will have a point of view of how the world is unfolding and be clear on the role they will play within it.
High-performance is not something you miraculously achieve. It takes dedication, perseverance and most importantly, the will to break away from the tried and tested path.
So either you will be able to position yourself into it or find yourself positioned, which will ultimately limit the extent of your growth.
The decision is yours to make.,...
COVID Webinars: A new world for knowledge sharing
Due to the Covid-19 pandemic, most of the activities and businesses have become online based. Even the never ending thirst for knowledge could not be suppressed during restrictive mode of lockdown because of active participation in online media. The new normal era has introduced a new term; “Webinar” (though the term has not been coined recently and has always been there ineffectively or less effectively). All these online workshops, e-classes and virtual training are different forms of webinars.
In this gruesome situation, the rise of webinars has given us a safe way to develop our educational and professional skills by maintaining social distancing at the same time. It should be no surprise that in these pandemic times, working from home, isolating, avoiding infection… learning and development options that don’t require face to face contact or travel are becoming increasingly popular. Cue the rise of the webinar!
Webinars have given us a safe way to keep our professional engagements going and socially distance at the same time. Now that digital-first events are the new normal, we’re seeing webinars happening nearly every minute across the world. So it’s safe to say there’s been a noticeable shift in the number of webinars happening on a day-to-day basis. Consequently, there’s also been a shift in webinar trends. Some of the most significant advantages of a webinar are that it is cost-effective and less time-consuming than other media. They are location flexible, allowing people from all over the world to attend and interact in real-time. Plus, it provides room for higher engagement and better relationship-building.
Webinars remain one of the most important marketing tactics in the manufacturing sector, and your target audience has high expectations for such events. In 2020, you will need to up your game in the following ways to create an effective and memorable audience experience and to continue driving results. Not only because of the current global crisis, webinars are shaping up to be a popular learning tool in the future. Expect to see more interactive tools and techniques emerging, to further increase the engagement options for participants. Expect to see more webinar series, with linked micro topic events being used to provide a consecutive sequence of bite sized learning that when taken together are anything but ‘micro’. Finally, expect concerns about online security to influence the choice of webinar platforms and tools.
A webinar is great if it is conducted in the right way. It is the future platform for sharing knowledge and expertise. Some webinars cost an amount of fee and some are free. However, both are effective, modern and skill-based. Therefore, let’s celebrate the rise of webinars and never stop chasing knowledge! 🖥,...
How to Overcome Performance Anxiety
Good public speaking skills aren’t something most people are born with, they have to be learnt.
How did I prepare for my upcoming talk?
At some point, we tend to shy away when it comes to public speaking. It’s something we want to do, but we’re too scared of the “what if’s.” “What if I say something wrong?” or “What if someone from the audience asks me a question that I can’t answer?” and so on. We’re also worried that  “It will have a negative impact on how we’re perceived at work.”
Thinking that we’re going to embarrass ourselves in front of everybody, we might have stage fright; butterflies in your stomach, and a heartbeat so fast that you can almost hear it. The important thing to note is that you are never alone with regards to those feelings.
In this article, I will be sharing my personal experiences on how I overcame public speaking jitters. That is to say, I still feel nervous and that will always be a part of it! But it is one of the challenges you can overcome to some extent.
“The ultimate test of your knowledge is your capacity to transfer it to another”Thomas Oppong
For as long as I can remember, I hated being the center of attention. I’ve been in several organizations and talked to so many people whilst organizing events but I always feel uncomfortable when it comes to talking in front of many strangers. I loved my comfort zone so much that I never thought of becoming a public speaker.
I started by joining different competitions like broadcasting, script writing, declamations, dancing and reading contests, I also joined a church as a catechists teacher until I got into hosting small events, school parties and ceremonies.
But despite those experiences, I never thought of myself as someone with potential to become a public speaker and to eventually share knowledge learnt over the years with other students and professionals.
If i’m honest, it’s definitely scary. I’m paranoid too! All the what if’s in my head start becoming louder and louder.
“But for some reason, I was drawn to public speaking. And so I studied and I learned”Jason Shen
I practiced, read articles, listened to podcasts. I read real life experiences and stories from other people, watched public speaking videos like TED, and I learned. I am always nervous whenever I have an upcoming talk to do but I never thought of it as a task to be checked off on my list. I thought of it as a learning opportunity and a process that I could make use of long-term.
“Teaching others what you know is one of the most effective ways to learn, remember and recall new information. Psychologists, call it the “retrieval practice”. It’s one of the most reliable ways of building stronger memory traces”Thomas Oppong
Some quick points:
- Create an outline of your speech or topic
- Work on you vocal variety
- Body language
Before doing the above, you should make sure you know your audience who are the primary reason you’re preparing your talk! Always avoid boring them:
- Know your audience
- Age range
- Students? Professionals? Both?
- Number of attendees
- If you have enough information on your audience, select a topic that you think will be suitable for everyone. Determine the level of difficulties of your topic based on your audience:
For a mixed audience, select a level of difficulty between beginner and junior levels and for the last part of your talk, add very quick details for senior level.
- Lecture-focused talks are overrated except when you’re only given a 5-20 minutes time slot. If you’re given 30 minutes and above, however, I recommend activities, workshops, and/or code-labs to increase interaction between you and the audience.
If you plan to host activities, never surprise your audience with them. Give the attendees a quick overview on what to expect during the talk. This gives them added motivation to follow through on your discussions.
- If you have a slide deck presentation, avoid overloading it with text. Big images with fewer text always attract more attention. (From google slide deck tips: whenever we have an event in GDG, Google Design Team provides us with slide deck templates).
- Lastly, if you have an activity, give the organizers a heads up about the materials required or bring them yourself.
I recommend you have your speech prepared a month before the event. You can read this article, How to Dramatically Improve your Public Speaking Skills by Jason Shen to know more about why it is important and essential to prepare months before your event.
Now, here’s how I prepare on the day of the event:
- Be at the event area 30 minutes before the talk
- Feel the stage and get myself settled and comfortable with the venue
- Warm up and go through the slide deck once more
After your talk, it is essential to ask for feedback from your audience. This way, you will be able to assess yourself and make improvements. Some speakers send feedback forms via email after the event, but based on my experience this never works.
Tips on asking for feedback
Make use of technology! Make it paperless and accessible. Right after your talk, include a shortened readable link at the last part of your slide and dedicate 5 minutes to getting feedback from the audience. Pro tip: Add a QR code where attendees can easily scan and access your feedback form. There are a lot of free QR code generators on the internet you can use. Keep the questionnaire as minimal as possible. A yes or no and scaling selection would be helpful.
I use google forms but you can also check this template from jotform as your reference: Speaker Evaluation Form Template | JotForm
Every public speaking event is scary. I always feel nervous but I learned to embrace it. The important thing is to have a strong mindset. Cheer yourself up and think happy! 😄
A final point I would like to make is to enjoy your talk. If you appear to be enjoying your talk, feeling happy and passionate about what you are delivering to the audience, the audience will feel the same. Be confident. Remember that public speaking is a long-term learning process and a skill that can definitely be learned by anyone.
Drink water and keep yourself hydrated!
Useful resources to improve your public speaking skills
I joined a Beginner’s Android Study Jam back in 2015 where we were asked to present a proposal on what mobile application we wanted to build by the end of the sessions. We used Guy Kawasaki’s The 10 Slides Pitch which is very helpful and I believe it’s still a relevant template.
For more public speaking references, I recommend these courses and videos, that are short and won’t bore you:
How to speak in public – Courses – Google Digital Garage: In this free module, you will learn to define the objective of your speech, organize content and even master important body language skills that can help you become a better public speaker. Plus, you’ll discover how to prepare and tailor a speech so that it’s perfect for each audience.
Public Speaking Pro Tips – YouTube: This youtube series is created by Women Techmakers. It shows you different techniques and warm up exercises for your public speaking. It’s also really fun to watch!
9 Places to Learn Public Speaking Skills for Free: If you’re one of those people who would rather curl up in a ball and simply die than speak in front of a crowd, you definitely need to check out these 9 places you can learn public speaking skills absolutely free.
Writing this article doesn’t make me an expert on public speaking. I am not a TED level kind of speaker and I’m still learning. I only write these tips based on my experiences and I hope it helps! If you have any other methods that work best for you then go for it, and share more with us too! Don’t limit yourself. Have more faith in you 🤩
Life at HOV
HOV is a remote company. Yes, we don’t have an office. In this advent where remote work is becoming more mainstream, we as a company have been distributed from the very beginning. This means being remote is entrenched into our culture and core beliefs. While other companies are still undergoing the trial and error process of creating their own remote playbooks, our processes are already streamlined for this upcoming work paradigm. We’ve developed skin in this game far longer than others, and are continuously improving.
So how do we make this “remote work” thing work so well?
Let’s start with the values that are central to our culture. As our company has grown over the last year, we’ve been working on establishing clear expectations about what it means to work on our team. At the core of these expectations are our 5 values.
- Learning machines – We are continuously learning and sharing with others. In our company we have what we call the ’90/90/1′ where each of us is working on a side project, or anything that has a learning outcome – which can then be presented as a deliverable at the end of each month and ultimately culminated each quarter.
- Epic work – We pride ourselves on the quality of the work we do using the concept of “Work Superpower”. In short, it’s one thing people can rely on you to have an expertise in.
- Never give up – We work on challenging problems and often find ourselves in difficult situations. This requires us, as individuals and as a team, to be ready to face these hurdles, technical or otherwise, and overcome them.
- We have each other’s back – Teams can move faster and produce more value than single individuals. We cultivate a culture where everyone stands to contribute strongly individually, but is also willing to reach out if a team member needs a hand.
- Challenge the status quo – At its core, HOV is not only an accelerator but also a Tech company. At the intersection of these two domains, innovation and creativity is paramount. This means we like to hear great ideas and cultivate them. Either this is an innovation to our own processes or an idea for a project the company can work on. We are not afraid to experiment.
These are the 5 values that form the core to our work culture, and we don’t take them for granted.
Next, come the work strategies and tools.
Communication and visibility is paramount to remote teams. Because we work remotely, one of the things you have to show for your day is not the number of hours you worked but what work you’ve actually gotten done. This kind of visibility , which is tailored specifically for remote teams, is one of the things our internal tool Identifi provides.
We are continuously iterating and improving our tool where its ultimate goal is to improve/enhance connectivity of individuals in remote teams.
Some of the other well known tools we use are:
- Slack: For day-to-day chatter
- Notion: For discussions, video logs, team goals, and various Documentations
- Zoom, Slack video: For weekly video chats, or one-on-one chats, standups
- Jira: For team project management
At HOV we distinguish team members as either a manager or an individual contributor. Each manager has a 1:1 with their direct reports once a week; this interaction is also facilitated by our internal tool Identifi.
Don’t forget the activities!
The entire company attends a weekly town hall to discuss updates of various company projects. This makes a huge difference as it gives everyone an idea as to what’s happening on other projects in the company as well as build alignment across teams.
There’s also the annual company outing where we meet, stay, and relax for a week at a chosen destination. The goal is to have that much needed in-person time that remote teams obviously lack. Unfortunately this year’s meetup is cancelled due the current unforeseen events.
Heres a photo of our last company outing (fun, right?):
There’s always room for social interaction, even in a remote setting. We hold icebreakers once in a while to get know each other and we like to goof around in other ways too like building some silly apps that we use internally for fun.
This is just a glimpse of how we work at High Output Ventures, and how we run the show. If you have comments or thoughts, we’d love to hear!
P.s; We’re always looking for more people to join the team! If you’re interested, visit our career section to know more (who knows where we travel to next).,...
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I’ll tell you 6 specific things to stop doing and win at life. Could be offensive.
Alright folks, buckle up. No intro, I will punch you in the gut right away. I will tell you specific things so you can progress light speed faster and win at life. I will tell you straight to the point in simple English. We’ll keep it real. Let’s begin!
Warning: With that said, reality checks ahead and you may find this offensive.
If you are offended, let’s score your “I’m offended” points. At each point you find yourself feeling offended, it’s 1 point. Half-offended, well, 0.5 points. For a grand max of 6 offending points. Let’s play?
1. Stop playing video games.
If this doesn’t apply to you, then congrats. That’s why you are a success and hustler at what you do. You’re already a step ahead by not wasting your time on these.
If you’re a gamer, you know this is true. You know how games have ruined moments with people (your lover, your family, your friend or friend gamer, etc), work, and personal growth (improving on work/life skills, learning new skill/talent). This is especially true of multiplayer online games, why? Because you can’t pause it.
OK, I’ll be fair a bit with us gamers. I forgive myself with a game that ends.
Playing single-player RPG games, okay, whatever, is fine from time to time, not all the time. Because it has a story that ends. And hey, if it’s a good game pretty sure you’ve gotten yourself advice or learned a thing or two about life there right?
BUT if it’s something multiplayer and competitive, then it is addictive and will surely consume a chunk of your life (time, money, mentally, physically, relationship).
Example cancerous games: DOTA, ML, LoL, PUBG, 4th Night, MMORPGs, etc. (Cancerous— players’ thoughts on their respective games.. It’s a trap, but you know it’s a trap. Break it, rise above!)
Recently, the most notorious one is Mobile Legends. It kills relationships, kills good behaviour of innocent children, and literally kills people (guy got cancer because he won’t stop playing until he died, true story, google it.)
PS. I haven’t played a single game of ML, my poison is DOTA 2 (which is a much better game btw). I haven’t played dota for months and I feel so much better. Like I’m free from its shackles (not true, I will still be returning to play this from time to time, extremely casual).
2. Stop complaining about life and deal with it instead.
Accept what it is now and do what you can from there, don’t restrain yourself because of ego. Don’t let your pride, ego, whatever, hinder your way.
If you are NOT affected by this, then you have a lovely way of doing things… Congratulations, you can skip to the next one you beautiful soul! On to success!
But if your reaction is like this… then kindly continue this part.
Oh wow, who am I to teach you about life? Right, I know nothing about life, I’m like an adult kid who lives in a cave with a computer. One thing is for sure though, I don’t complain and work from there nicely. I sit here quietly, just doing my stuff, no need to be in-your-face kind of deal.
Ego is the enemy. This is the main reason for generally unhappy people (according to a study). I’m speaking the truth here and helping you out. Ego is bad! Reasons:
- Keeps you out of touch with reality.
- Creates unrealistic expectations and entitlement.
- Makes you dependent on external validation.
I recommend this book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27036528-ego-is-the-enemy
A medium article about it HERE.
3. Stop giving too many f*cks (care) everywhere.
We have a limited time here on earth and so limited number of f*cks (care) to give. Stop trying to please everybody all the time, it’s just emotionless, if not sad. I’ve been there.
Let’s be clear about where/when/what/who we should be giving the most care to. I’m not saying you shouldn’t care anymore even at the least things if it’s your thing, but prioritize the care we give.
The thing I don’t understand the most is the celebrity news, this is the weirdest stuff ever to me that I will never understand in my life even if I’m immortal.
Why do you care so much if this certain celebrity got a new bag then tell everybody? +15 gossip points, +20% status update, -25% productivity, -40% time, -10% brain cells.
Why do you care so much that he/she is breaking up with him/her? “OMG, he broke up with her omg I’m gonna die oxygen me” – I literally heard that from someone in high school.
I can’t process this, it’s the strangest thing to me. I saw on a news channel that some celebrity got a new haircut? Why is that newsworthy for everyone in the country to know? It’s a complete mystery to me I tell you.
OK MY TURN, SO WHY DO I CARE TO MAKE YOU NOT CARE THAT MUCH ABOUT THESE? You ask me, why don’t I just let you care about their new pants etc?
Here’s why! Because I care about you. I want you to care about family/friends, especially yourself, and not someone who will probably never even know you exist.
I’m telling you again, prioritize the care you give. I’ve seen people who cared more about going to a concert than bonding with their younger sibling to see a movie in the theatre.
I’m not hard on this. You can still binge-watch your drama series if that’s what you need in your “me” time. Just don’t fall too deep into it.
4. Stop wasting time on random internet things.
Stop wasting time endlessly scrolling on social media for random content. I know it sounds obvious yet there you are some moments ago scrolling endlessly.
I know this is somewhat related to the previous thing about care. But I want to emphasize this specific kind of care about indulging too much in random internet content for the lulz.
I know this is somewhat related to the previous thing about care. But I want to emphasize this specific kind of care about indulging too much in random internet content for the lulz.
HOW TO SNAPBACK TO REALITY IF YOU’RE RANDOMLY SURFING THE INTERNET
If you ever catch yourself watching random videos or reading useless trivia (Sometimes it literally says in the article your reading, “Useless Trivia/Facts”). Then…
ASK YOURSELF: Why am I reading this? Why am I watching this? How does this matter to me? What am I supposed to be really doing at this time?
Trust me, you will immediately snap back to reality and continue on what you’re working on after asking yourself that. It works every time. Unless your reason is you’re on leisure time, uhh fine.
5. Stop grudging on your past mistakes.
Suddenly remembered something awful, embarrassing, stupid you did? Then spend the rest of the day bashing your head against the wall?
Don’t hold a grudge toward your past, we’re not going in that direction. What’s done is done. Carry the lesson and do better next time.
I know it’s easier said than done. But it’s definitely the most straightforward thing I can give you. What is done is done. Carry the lesson and do better next time. Repeat it like a mantra.
You should focus on the NOW and your future. Your future you is talking shit about you now, just like how you’re talking shit about your past. Make your future YOU talk good things about you by acting now. Make amends with the past, see the beauty of your mistake. It’s part of life, no one’s perfect. Even the best of the best make mistakes.
I mean look at the highest-rated chess player in the world. He lost to an amateur because of a silly mistake, and then what? He smiled. He accepted his mistake, resigned, and smiled. (Notice, he didn’t slam the table or bash his head against the board or anything. Don’t do that.)
I will give you this beautiful quote about mistakes, don’t be too hard on yourself.
6. Stop bullsh*tting yourself completely.
Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It’s sad and pathetic. Work for it and make it real.
If you’re true to yourself, I congratulate you and I respect you. This is the biggest factor in winning life. Living an honest true life. It’s the most beautiful there is.
If you have lies you’re keeping, please resolve them and redeem yourself. It’s not that late even if you’re 90 years old you can make it right before your grave.
But if you’re building lies on top of lies, I think you’re an evil person to be able to do that. I can’t be associated with you at all. Please cleanse yourself to thy lord of what religion you’re in.
Liars are also associated with fake and fraudulent people. Example:
- People living an arrogant and fake rich lifestyle on social media but in real life begs for money.
- People living an arrogant and actual rich lifestyle but they steal the money from the people.
Don’t build success founded on lies, deception, secrets, etc. Well, OK if that’s what you want, it’s out of my control, I’m just sayin’… it’s very problematic and very evil. Regrets only at the end.
I hear you say, “Oh you sweet summer child, the world you live in is full of lies.”. I know, but that doesn’t mean I should join them, jeez. Be part of the real side. Keep it real.
Another partner in crime is making secrets. Secrets create problems.
People who know me know that I’m a very open guy. I don’t have any secrets at all. I let you know upfront what I am and what I do. If we won’t work well together then let’s move on to improve ourselves and try next time.
But let’s talk about that another time—problem with lies, secrets, and promises.
Of course, I do not follow these things all the time, after all, we’re still human. But it’s good to know these are at my disposal. Personally, I’m offended by my own article. My points are 2.5 / 6 offended.
PS. I’ll let you know I’m not a mean person. I didn’t intend this article to be offending. I wanted to write this article in a casual fashion and not too formal but I think it went wild.
Anyway, again, don’t be too hard on yourself. We don’t have to do all of these, see it as I’m letting you know this list exists, just up to you on what you want to do.
If you were NOT offended by this post, then you are a WINNER in life already. You are blessed and inspirational. You’re a future KING/QUEEN to save thy kingdom.
I might do an inverse article of this, like things we should be doing instead and get commend points Thanks for reading! Enjoy the start of 2021! I hope this next year, we stop doing these things and rise!,...
Remote Work: Things you need to watch out for in the new normal
With the ongoing Covid-19 Pandemic, many companies have shifted to remote work in order to continue their operations. While many would think of this as temporary, the whole situation has opened doors for opportunities and possibilities making remote work a viable option to a lot of companies moving forward.
Whether in our own home or mobile, we get to see the benefits of working remotely. There is more freedom and better control of time allowing more flexibility and amount of work hours and thus increasing productivity. This is just but one example from a long list of perks of remote work. Working from home may sound easy to some but it’s not always a rosy picture being in this kind of environment.
Here are some things you need to consider and watch out for in a remote work setup:
Since our homes are not designed specifically for work, a lot of factors come in that will hinder us from becoming effective. Things that provide comfort in our homes are ironically the very things that decrease productivity. House chores, pets, neighbors, people you live with.. there are distractions everywhere.
What you can do to work around this problem is to dedicate a certain place in your home just for work. Treat it as your office. This will establish a barrier between you and the distractions around you.
Getting in to work requires only so much effort that coming out of it becomes really difficult, if not impossible. People who are hardworking and love what they do will find it really hard to disconnect. Because work is so accessible more than ever before, other priorities are oftentimes forgotten or even neglected. The idea of “life outside of work” becomes vague and seems to be somewhat ineffectual or even pointless. This is perhaps one of the most damaging aspects of working from home. It is really hard to detect as it is developed subconsciously. You can think of it as a process of forming a habit and combining that together with good results like some promotion will make individuals think they’re doing perfectly well. When left unaddressed, this imbalance can result in serious health problems.
While it brings a lot of advantages to have easier access to work, it is still very important to establish a clear separation between life and work. Things start to get out of hand when you start to merge these two things together and it requires a certain level of awareness to see it.
Awareness in this area can be increased by monitoring the time spent for both life and work. Once the imbalance is clear, changes can be gradually applied to correct it. Increase the activity in the area where you think you’re failing. Be open about it, to others and more especially to yourself. Talk about it with your partner, your family, or your friends. More often than not, this issue spirals out of control because some people just find it insignificant.
Difficulty in Communication and Collaboration
A factor seen to increase performance is that of collaboration. The ability to work well with others allows individuals to provide tangible impact and effective contributions to the team and company. A very crucial component necessary for collaboration to happen is communication; be it verbal or written, it boils down to how to how effectively individuals relay information. In a remote setup, however, situations are more often presented in a somewhat unprecedented way.
When you speak with someone, there will be times that you won’t get as much feedback or response. Somehow, people seem to be afraid or shy to raise questions — a situation that gives you mixed signals. One part of your brain tells you that they understood, the other tells you that the silence is a manifestation of confusion. Let alone the technical difficulties that happen consistently such as power shortage and internet connection problems.
To communicate effectively, individuals must be really clear about what they really want to gain in a conversation. When things are not clear, ask questions. When a solution is hardly derived, give suggestions. Dealing with crucial conversations is one great way of eliminating false assumptions across the team.
These are a few of the prevailing challenges in remote-first companies. The efforts to address these issues require effort from both, employee and employer. Cohesion is achieved when the right foundations are built among individuals and throughout the company. So if you think your company can do more to address some of these challenges, raise your concerns to ensure maximum productivity and collaboration thereby creating a better remote work environment!,...
From good to great
“Desire, burning desire, is basic to achieving anything beyond the ordinary.” Joseph B. Wirthlin
In my mid-twenties, I was always in a rush.
People would ask me to slow down.
Take note of where I was going and not to rush into things.
However, that made no sense to me.
I had these big goals to achieve.
Things that I wanted to accomplish.
Most importantly, the need to prove to the world and myself of all that I could accomplish.
By the time I hit 30, I had achieved some of those goals and missed a lot of them.
The strange thing was that even though I had achieved some semblance of success, it wasn’t lasting.
Deep down, I still felt inadequate—the feeling of being an imposter.
It is a feeling that comes up even to this day sometimes.
Looking back, it makes a lot more sense in hindsight why I felt that way.
When your life revolves around outcome-based goals, you never really spend the time and energy to become great at what you do.
We are always distracted by a magical number, accolades and public acceptance.
We forget that using shortcuts to get there is like building a house of shaky foundations.
In 2013-2014 those foundations came crashing down.
That was a major reset in my life where I had to examine all the underlying assumptions.
There were several things that I didn’t fully comprehend.
Firstly, the way to become great at something is fundamentally different from the road to become good at something.
I used to believe that it is a linear path that if I kept doing what I was doing, greatness was inevitable.
I would later on read about the Stockdale Paradox.
Which states that you must maintain unwavering faith that you can and will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties, AND at the same time have the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
All of us have images of grandeur and success in our head.
We live a life focused on outcome-based goals, that create this distortion field around current reality.
The second path of the Stockdale paradox is what a lot of us miss in our quests of instant gratification and rush for achievement.
If I were to go back in time and give advice to my 25-year-old self here are a couple of things I would tell him:
Focus on process-based goals first
- The path to becoming great is different from that of becoming good. To become great at something you need to have process goals that help you build the muscle through consistency and the grind.
- Outcome goals at this point are a distraction. They cause an unnatural acceleration that will lead to burn out early on in life.
- This memo is a good example of a process-based goal. After writing 120+ of these posts over the 2+ years, they are becoming better. An outcome-based goal would be to write a book. I would have probably hit that goal; however, it would most likely have been a crappy book.
- Figure out what is working and not working in your life.
- Chasing outcome goals too early forces you to build a reality distortion field where we treat unhealthy habits as battle scars, rather than the scars they are.
- If you have to wait for a reset to confront reality, you are living in a precarious bubble, that may pop at any time.
- Pay attention to your health, your relationships and get constant reality checks from friends, family and coaches.
Switch to outcome-based goals when ready
- Once you have the processes down, regularly confront reality, you are now ready to aim for outcome-based goals. These goals push you outside the comfort zone you have built.
- This is your path to greatness. Something I believe every high achiever aspires to. Given that this phase will come later in your life, you will have the ability to dictate what you want those outcomes to be.
- This path is starkly different from what I believed at 25, where the outcomes were dictated by what society deemed important.
Everyone has the capability of achieving greatness in their life.
However, it is up to each of us to define what we consider to be greatness.Where the timelines are governed by us and not a societal construct that states what you need to achieve by an arbitrary age. Wishing you all the very best of success on your path to greatness.,...
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